On First Encounters.

My mom met my son for the first time the other day.

I, honestly, didn’t know how it would feel. And I still don’t. I wasn’t sure what to expect and that made me anxious.

This past week had made me anxious.

It has taken its toll. Not only because of the George Floyd verdict, but the visit and I returned to work after 4 months…

It was a week.

I was thinking that I hadn’t been able to see her or hug her in over a year.

But with my mom, I had been thinking that my mom may never get to meet my son or that he would end up being a toddler (or older) by the time she did.

COVID has truly taken so much from us.

But it’s something you’d think I’d expect. After all, mental illness has taken so much from my family, from my mom…

But, with my mom having moved placements, however, there is a light. And soon we’ll actually be able touch. 🤗

See, although we got our visit, we had to socially distance still. I guess I just hadn’t thought about that part (although it makes perfect sense that we would). All of these visions of my being able to hug her and her finally being able to hold and hug my son… and it wasn’t so.

Soon it will come though. With vaccinations… Soon come Mom.

Until that time, I’m grateful for the hugs and smiles and words that my baby boy receives daily. I’m grateful for everyone that loves on him in a way that my mom has not yet been able to. In a way that, if I’m honest, she never will.

Man, mental illness has really taken so much from us.

Author: Benita Angela

Just a Free Black Girl trying to live the life God has set out for me with the gifts He has given me.

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